Leturgey Musings and Goings On

These are some of my writings...from events going on in the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance and elsewhere, to observations from the rest of my decidely unformulaic life.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Bedlam Ensued As Worlds Collided in KSWA

by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer

Some familiar faces returned and some shocking developments occurred when the Keystone State Wrestling Alliances’ “When World’s Collide” showcase concluded on August 26.
Before the official start of the show, three newcomers made their first-ever appearance in the KSWA ring. Billy Glander, Night Train and Buddy Wilson took part in a triple threat match that entertained the early crowd. All three competitors showed some raw talent in the ring, but in the end, “The Ideal” Billy Glander got his hand raised in victory. It’s too early to tell if these guys will make it to the big KSWA show, but it just goes to show that the KSWA is growing like no other in Pittsburgh!
Another knockout crowd filled the Lawrenceville Moose and they were treated to a KSWA Kruiserweight Cup Semifinal match in which two fan favorites, Lost Boy Chris Kash and Justin Sane hit the ring.
The two equally-sized combatants traded some acrobatic moves in the ring, with hip tosses and arm drags aplenty. Justin Sane was so overwhelmed by the offensive give-and-take that he temporarily bailed to the outside. That’s where Kash dove onto him from the inside.
The two high-flyers grounded their game with a little brawl on the outside before getting back into the ring. Kash immediately took control with a drop kick. He nearly got a three count win before Sane kicked out. In fact, Justin had to kick out of three consecutive pin-fall attempts.
Justin reversed that offensive barrage with a clothesline on his younger opponent. Sane went to the top rope for a flying elbow. Then he went for a suplex and pin-fall. Kash kicked out at two. Justin showed frustration on his face as he went for a jackknife power bomb. Kash kicked out at two.
Justin used a camel-clutch-like maneuver on Kash to keep him grounded, and perhaps to try and figure out how to beat the upstart one-on-one.
Sane got to his feet and went for a big power move, but Kash was able to get out of the way and pull the ropes down. Justin spilled out onto the floor in a heap. Kash followed for another round of floor fighting. They quickly got back into the ring where Kash went for a pin. Kash went tried a reverse DDT but Justin kicked out at two. There was even another attempt on Justin before he regained composure and staggered Kash.
Justin went for the scissor kick to knock Kash down. Sane then went "froggy" as he splashed from the top rope. Inexplicably, the King of Millvale, Del Douglas, came from nowhere and diverted referee Jimmy James’ attention. He got Sane’s attention and Justin came over to confront the regal King. Douglas then clanked a steel chair he had been carrying over Justin’s head. Sane went down and Kash was there for the pin.
With the crowd stunned, Chris Kash got the one, two, three win.
Justin, confused as to what had just transpired, initially looked concerned over Chris Kash’s attempt to shake hands in the middle of the ring. But after a few words, the combatants shook hands and shared their effort with the approving crowd.
Chris Kash now moves onto the finals of the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup.
“The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard asked for some time in the KSWA ring and what the champ wants, he gets.
Blanchard, alongside his “advisor” Frank Durso, angrily confronted the KSWA Krazies, saying he did not “tap out” to La Lucha at Wrestle Rock. The fans, who remembered Blanchard frantically slapping his hand on the map after being given the tirador de elite, or sharpshooter, exploded in vocal disapproval.
Despite that, Blanchard, a three-time KSWA Champion, declared himself the greatest wrestler of all time. He went on to say that no one in the locker room could touch him in the ring. That declaration brought out Gentleman Joe Perry of the International Thugs, along with his Afghani Assault Weapon, Ali Kaida.
Perry verbally assailed Blanchard, saying he has ducked the International Thugs and it was time for Ali Kaida to bring the KSWA gold overseas.
That led to the formation of an impromptu match between Blanchard and Ali Kaida.
Kaida, who is much larger than the reigning Champion, used that size advantage early on in the match. Blanchard quickly bailed on the outside for a hasty time out.
Once back in the ring it was more of the same as Ali Kaida shoved Blanchard around the ring. That swing in action brought Frank Durso to the ring apron, while Blanchard and Kaida traded blows on the inside. With Durso gaining the referee’s attention, Perry choked Blanchard.
Soon, Perry confronted Durso on the outside and the two, who normally get along when they are seconding their wards to the ring, got nearly confrontational when the KSWA gold was on the line.
In the ring, Kaida went for a pin and Durso pulled his feet. The Afghani Assault Weapon bodyslammed Blanchard twice and went for the pin. Blanchard kicked out after a two-and-1/2 count. Kaida slapped Blanchard into an abdominal stretch. Durso became involved again. He kicks Ali Kaida enough to help Blanchard regain some measure of control. Blanchard responds by suplexing Kaida.
Blanchard goes for the pin, but referee Jimmy James’ three-count is interrupted by Perry on the outside.
Durso confronts Perry over the interference on the outside, which diverts the referee. Inside, Kaida gets up and slams Blanchard. Ali misses with a knee drop and Blanchard gets up. Blanchard works on Ali Kaida’s knee, which is now dinged up because of the missed move. He pulls Kaida in for a crotch shot on the ring post. Durso chokes Ali Kaida. Blanchard works on the knee some more, which is generally a precursor to Blanchard’s signature figure four leg lock. Blanchard slaps the move on and cinches it in tight. Ali Kaida fairs well for a few moments before ultimately tapping out.
Blanchard retains the KSWA World Heavyweight Championship!
Perry helps Ali Kaida to the back as Frank Durso struts in the ring and Blanchard jostles with the standing-room-only crowd.
Next up is the KSWA Hardcore Match, featuring Zero and Blood Beast. Zero beat Blood Beast earlier this year in a winner receives a KSWA guaranteed contract. Blood Beast has been doing KSWA Owner Bobby O’s bidding since that time just as a way to stay in the locker room.
The match starts traditionally enough inside the ring as the Blood Beast just whacks Zero with huge chops in the corner. Before long, the two are on the outside. Blood Beast is in complete control of the match with punches and kicks. He punctuates his dominance by tossing Zero into the tent leading to the locker rooms. Seconds rolled by as it seemed that Zero might not return to the match.
Then out from the tent, Zero emerged with a computer keyboard. He smashed Blood Beast in the head with the keyboard with such force that the keys burst out everywhere. It was later determined that only the Enter and Shift key could not be found.
For the next few minutes bedlam ensued as the two megastars went after each other with steel chairs, garbage cans, cake tins and countless other ringside articles.
The two made their way to the concession stand, where a KSWA Krazies’ birthday cake was sitting. Blood Beast grabbed a piece of the birthday cake and rammed it into Zero’s face, thus exhilarating the crowd!
Later the two made it to the Moose’s bar area. Zero could be seen throwing himself from atop the bar from across the room. For minutes all most fans could hear were slaps, punches, oohs and ahs from the crowd. Fans stood on their feet to see the most brazen of KSWA actions.
Fans counted along with the referee. One, two, three and the cheers went up. It took a second to see that the Blood Beast’s hands were raised in victory.
The Blood Beast won his first KSWA match by beating his first nemesis, Zero!
After that pandemonium, the Interim KSWA Commissioner, Latin Assassin, was welcomed to the ring. He came out to say that at Fan Appreciation Night in December, La Lucha would get his long-awaited shot at the KSWA World Heavyweight Championship. That announcement didn’t go over well with Champion Shawn Blanchard, who stomped his way to the ring. He met Latin head-on to vocalize his displeasure. He got in Latin’s face so much that the Assassin threw down on Blanchard, but not before poking the champ in the eye. Latin got the upper hand initially, but he is still on the KSWA disabled list because of spinal issues, so the experienced Blanchard was able to regain control. He threw Latin into the ring and exploded with a spine buster.
Durso came into the ring with a chair and held Latin down as Blanchard repeatedly rammed the top of the weapon into Latin’s exposed spinal column. It looked like curtains for Latin when all of a sudden, La Lucha ran to the ring, thus running Blanchard and Durso off.
Blanchard wore the New York Mets hat the always-stylish Interim Commissioner had just worn to the ring, and Durso pointed, pranced and posed. Those in the ring called for a neck brace and one was brought out to Latin. It was put on and several members of the KSWA family had to lead Latin back to his locker room.
Next up was one-third of the International Thugs, Baracus, versus La Lucha. La Lucha was met by the fans with their usual overwhelming support. Baracus was unimpressed.
Baracus used his superior strength to shove The Wrestler into the corner, but he misses with a follow-up spear. But Baracus recovers; hip tosses La Lucha and follows that up with a Samoan Drop. The former American Patriot follows that impressive move with a less-than-impressive choke.
Baracus goes for a quick three count pin, but La Lucha gets his shoulder up at two. For what seemed like an eternity, Baracus followed every power move with another power move. He suplexes La Lucha as supportive chants go out for the Mayor of Mexico City. After a near fall, the encouragement crosses all language barriers and La Lucha gets his second wind. La Lucha rallies and gets Baracus on the ropes, literally and figuratively. La Lucha splash-bombed Baracus in the corner. Baracus got up but La Lucha hit him with a boot to the belly and a finishing move. Three seconds later, La Lucha was the winner!
As soon as that happened, Blanchard and Durso returned to the ring. Blanchard missed his attack on La Lucha and La Lucha slapped on his sharpshooter death-lock. Just as at Wrestle Rock, Blanchard quickly and frantically slapped his hand on the mat.
As the fans were going crazy for La Lucha, Latin Assassin, apparently invigorated enough by treatments in the back, returned to lay a couple of chair shots to Blanchard’s exposed neck.
Latin then ripped off his neck brace to the approval of the fans in attendance.
After an intermission that featured the Steel City Roller Derby Demons, it was time for Trapper’s Den.
Normally, Trapper interviews a KSWA Megastar, but today he received time to discuss last show’s attack by Biker Al. Trapper said that a long time ago he and Bobby O wrestled in the same organization, but both moved on and retired from active ring participation.
However, he said that Biker Al’s next “cowardly” attack could be on anyone, including the concession staff, a bartender or the ticket staff in the front of the building. With that, Dr. Devastation Lou Martin, who came to Trapper’s aid at the last show, tried to calm the Ring Announcer down. Things only got crazier when The King Del Douglas arrived on the scene. The King, who also got a boot or two in on the fallen Trapper at Wrestle Rock, stood up for his frequent Tag Team partner, Biker Al.
The King threatened to get into the ring and take on Trapper himself, but Dr. Devastation put himself in the line of fire for his friend, and then chased the King off.
Trapper, after taking a moment to settle down, got back to the card at hand.
The next match was another semifinal contest for the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup Championship. Joey Quervo, who had a bye in the first round, took on Lost Boy Shane Starr, who beat Zero in the first round last show.
The action was fast and furious between the two from the outset. Shane was the larger opponent, close to the cut off of 200 lbs., whereas Joey was closer to 150 lbs. This match had it all, shots to the crotch and punches to the head. There were kick outs at two and DDT’s. But in the end, Joey connected on a reverse moonsault and got the surprise win against Starr.
So on October 14, Chris Kash will take on “The Drunken Luchadore” Joey Quervo and the winner will become the KSWA’s first-ever Kruiserweight champion!
Next up was a KSWA Grudge Match between the feuding “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin and “The King of Millvale” Del Douglas.
The KSWA Krazies were in full force when Douglas hit ringside. As has become tradition, one fan brings a hamburger, gets down on one knee and presents it to The King. On Saturday, Douglas grabbed the burger and threw it across the room in a fit of rage. His portentousness has no limits when it comes to the KSWA Krazies.
That only got the crowd more riotous and frenzied.
When he finally got into the ring, the King was met with hip tosses and other offensive moves that made him bail outside onto the floor. After a few moments there, he returned with renewed vigor and anger.
The King got Martin down and went for a quick pin, all with his legs draped over the ropes. Referee Jimmy James saw the infraction and called Douglas off of Martin. However, Douglas maintained control of the offense and dropped an elbow off the top rope onto Martin.
The fans once again filled the Moose with vocal chants that quickly got on the King’s nerves. This time, those in attendance chanted for Dr. D. Right hands kept Martin down in the short term.
The turbulent crowd affected the King so much that he momentarily took his attention off of his opponent. That was enough for the veteran Martin, who turned the offensive tables on Douglas and landed an atomic drop.
Somewhere in all of this is should be noted that Shawn Blanchard’s advisor, Frank Durso, quietly appeared on the scene to watch the action in the ring. What was he doing there? That’s a question for another time.
Soon both combatants were on the outside. Lou Martin kept control of the action as he led Douglas into the “belly of the beast,” also known as the fans who relentlessly heckle the King. After a few minutes there, Douglas was brought back to the ring. Martin raked his opponent’s eyes and dropped his leg on him while he was prone on the apron.
Somehow after that mugging, the resilient King regained some offense of his own. In fact, he nearly had a pin-fall against the surprised Martin. Douglas took that momentum and put Martin into a submission hold. There, the Doctor of Devastation nearly lost consciousness. After a two count, Martin was able to get to his feet. That surprised the King, who thought that another opponent was ready to bow at his boots.
Martin had momentum of his own and knocked Douglas down. He dropped a leg onto his prone opponent and went for the pin, but the King kicked out.
Martin went for his signature move, The Death Certificate; however, Douglas had enough in the tank to chop his foe in the crotch.
Douglas quickly followed that move with his signature move, Drop It Like It’s Hot, and the one, two, three for the win.
Trash rained into the ring as the funs had had enough with the King and his pomposity.
After taking a few minutes to clear the ring of paper crowns and other debris, it was time for the Main Event of the Evening: The Double-A Challenge for the Golden Triangle Championship.
Before the contestants could be announced, KSWA Owner Bobby O, who had been delayed by a political fundraiser in Harrisburg, showed up on the scene. He announced that not only would Anthony Alexander defend the Golden Triangle Championship, but the winner of the match would be the Unified Golden Triangle and Tri State Champion, as that vacant belt was being incorporated into the GT title.
Bobby also described the rules for the “Ultimate” Double-A Challenge, where new talent and a former Tri State Champion would compete in a single-elimination challenge in which it is possible that Double A could lose his belt and not even be in the ring when it happened. The match would proceed with Tag Team rules, but friends could tag friends or foes alike. The participants would be pinned or forced to submit in elimination fashion. The last man to pin his opponent or make him submit would be the undisputed champion.
First out was Mr. 8x10 Michael Cruz, who asked for a rematch after being soundly defeated last month. Then came “The Snake Man” Deven Michaels, along with his “friend” Jezebel.
KSWA veteran and one-third of the International Thugs, Big Mike Malachi, along with Gentleman Joe Perry, then hit the ring. And finally, the defending Golden Triangle Champion, Double-A Anthony Alexander, came out to a rousing, explosive fanbase.
Snake Man whipped Mr. 8x10 into the ropes, while Big Mike and Double-A fought on the outside. With the two KSWA veterans on the outside, the pro-wrestling indy vets battled on the inside. Michaels went for a surprise DDT, but Mr. 8x10 reversed it.
Malachi and Alexander got back to the apron before Big Mike knocked the defending Golden Triangle Champion to the floor. Malachi took advantage of the situation and grabbed Michaels. Cruz then punched the Snake Man in the ribs repeatedly.
Action is fast and furious on the inside before Michaels is able to tag Double A. He goes after Mr. 8x10. Snake Man returns and tries to pin Cruz, but he kicks out.
Malachi is brought in by tagging Cruz. He goes after the Snake Man, knocks him down and steps on his flowing locks. Mr. 8x10 is lying prone on the outside, being pelted by garbage from fans.
Malachi chokes the Snake Man then suplexes him in the center of the ring.
Mr. 8x10, who just got back to the apron, is slapped back in by the smug Malachi. Cruz doesn’t really want to come back in so quickly, but he does nonetheless. He is met with unyielding offense from the Snake Man. Cruz attempts to tag Double-A, who wants no part of the exchange.
Cruz is nearly pinned by the Snake Man, but he kicks out at two. Michaels goes for the DDT, but it is blocked and Mr. 8x10 quickly goes for a pin. Referee Jimmy James counts the three and Michaels is the first contestant eliminated.
Anthony Alexander is brought in and he almost immediately hits Mr. 8x10 with his signature move, The Prime Time Cancellation, and Cruz is eliminated.
Before the two KSWA veterans decide to “hook em’ up,” Malachi poses for the crowd. He put his hand up to challenge Anthony to a test-of-strength. When Double-A puts his hands up to meet Malachi, Big Mike thinks better of the challenge and pulls away. He then attacks Double-A and forces him into a corner. After a quick barrage, Alexander falls to the mat. Malachi slaps on the camel clutch. Double-A somehow powers out. Big Mike meets that surge with a boot to the face and leg drop. There’s a close count, but Alexander chicks out.
There are more power moves on Malachi’s part, but Alexander is able to escape a pin fall. Malachi, now aggravated, chokes his opponent.
Then Double-A reaches down into his considerable reserves and somehow manages to his Malachi with a big boot of his own. A leg drop follows and Manager Gentleman Joe Perry pulls Anthony’s leg, thus stopping the pin fall.
Anthony regains momentum and pulls off an impressive fall away slam by throwing the nearly 300-lb. Malachi over his head and shoulders. Double-A goes for the pin but Malachi, a wry veteran of many battles, gets his leg up on the ropes.
Perry gets on the apron and distracts the referee as Double-A waits for Malachi to get to his feet. He lands the Prime Time Cancellation on Malachi, but miraculously, Big Mike gets his massive boot on the ropes.
Malachi gets up and bodyslams Double-A. He gets a near pin fall.
Double-A hits another PTC and gets the win to retain the Golden Triangle Championship!
Perry then waves for Ali Kaida and Baracus to backup Malachi. They get Double-A into a camel clutch, with Baracus applying the pressure on the face, while Ali Kaida pulls his legs up, thus creating force on both ends of the body.
The Snake Man reappears to the delight of the crowd, chases off Kaida with Jezebel. He attacks Baracus from behind and dazes him enough to walk into the short-arm clothes line and DDT. He then throws Jezebel onto the unconscious Baracus. The fans go ballistic with glee.
Perry grabs the microphone and says the situation with Alexander and the International Thugs is not over.
The night ends with Alexander and Michaels celebrating with the fans.

2 Comments:

At October 8, 2006 at 2:04 PM, Blogger kyx0wtj15l said...

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At October 10, 2006 at 8:36 AM, Blogger ffk8p61 said...

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