Leturgey Musings and Goings On

These are some of my writings...from events going on in the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance and elsewhere, to observations from the rest of my decidely unformulaic life.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Double A Vaults Bobby O's Team in Captain's Series; Atlas Proves It's A "Puniverse" World At Mayhem

by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer May 7, 2007

From the opening bell to the final slap of a three-count, "Mayhem At The Moose" 2007 was one of the most intense, wildest nights ever in the KSWA.
Before the event officially got underway, Biker Al set a Handicap Match with Blood Beast and Zero teaming against Latin Assassin. Bobby O countered with scheduling Biker Al in a match with an opponent to be named later.

Captain's Series: Team Durso v. Team Trapper

The evening began with the first round of the Captain's Series, with Frank Durso's team of himself, KSWA World Champion Shawn Blanchard and Dr. Devastation Lou Martin against Team Trapper, which consisted of Trapper Tom, Golden Triangle Champion Justin Sane and "The King" Del Douglas.
It took a while for King Douglas to get into the ring, as team captain Trapper Tom shadowed him. But once in the ring, it looked as if the team was going to be a cohesive unit. Justin Sane started with an arm bar on Blanchard. Sane continued to work on the arm, before Blanchard regrouped for a suplex. Blanchard tagged in Durso, who immediately went for illegal tactics. Those actions busted Justin's forehead open. Durso gnawed at the open wound and quickly donned a goatee of blood. Blanchard was tagged back in and he too went with questionable maneuvers.
Lou Martin was tagged in, and he tossed Justin into the corner, virtually forcing a tag with King Douglas. Durso continued to assault Justin on the outside of the ring. The King quickly controlled Martin. Douglas tagged Trapper. Trapper didn't want to pound on a fallen Martin and pulled him up. The two men, who have worked as a tag team in the past, looked hesitant, as neither wanted to cheap shot the other. Durso attracted Martin's attention, and Trapper pushed Martin into the corner, tagging Blanchard. Blanchard powered Trapper into the corner and landed three blistering reverse edge chops. Trapper fell to the mat and Blanchard tagged in Durso. Durso went to work on Trapper with some choke moves.
Durso tagged in Martin and Trapper was able to get up. He blindly went after Martin, shouting Frank's name. Trapper landed his patented Killer Elbows and felled Martin. Trapper lunged and tagged in Justin Sane. Justin got some offense before receiving some punishment. Sane went to tag Douglas, but the King suddenly retreated from his teammates, leaving them in a lurch. Seeing no other option, Justin tagged in Trapper Tom. Justin went after the King. Trapper shouted some directives toward Douglas, and then turned into an elbow shot from Blanchard. After an illegal crotch shot with Durso distracting the referee, Blanchard hit Trapper with a suplex. Durso was tagged in. He laid in some offense before scoring a pin on the double-teamed Trapper.
Post match: Justin and Jimmy James helped a fallen Trapper to the back. Blanchard and Durso taunted the crowd while Martin just looked on.

Handicap Match: Blood Beast and Zero v. Latin Assassin

Latin Assassin came to the ring looking for retribution against Zero who recently left him hanging out to dry in a tag match. But Biker Al's new enforcer, the Blood Beast, had other things in mind.
Latin came to the ring and grabbed the microphone. He ripped into Zero before being taken down by both men. Blood Beast, who continues to show that he may just be the KSWA's most powerful athlete, body slammed Latin with ease. Blood Beast used his massive power to maneuver Latin, who has exhibited little ring rust after being on the competitive shelf for most of the last 12 months. Blood Beast went for a quick pin but the veteran Assassin kicked out at two. Blood Beast continued the onslaught.
All the while, Zero spent most of the match on the outside, strolling and playing mind games. Zero has said that growing up in the vast, cold Anchorage, Alaska has enabled him to sharpen his mind. In ring-psychology has been his calling card in the year-and-a-half Zero has been in the KSWA locker room, and those skills have been put to great use against the last Tri-State Champion.
Blood Beast continued a pure physical dominance over Latin Assassin. However, Latin got frustrated and brought a folding chair into the ring. He inadvertently bashed referee Diamond Dave Diamond with the weapon. Latin mustered some offense but ultimately received a choke slam from the Beast. Diamond Dave regained consciousness and called for the bell. He immediately disqualified Latin and gave the win to Blood Beast and Zero.
Post Match: Latin argues with Diamond Dave. Latin then hoisted Dave onto his shoulders and flattened him, all to the delight of the crowd. Referee Jimmy James quickly rushes the ring to assist his fallen colleague. KSWA Owner Bobby O comes out and chastises Zero for his underhanded shenanigans. Bobby forces Zero into another match.

Zero v. Snake Man Deven Michaels

To make things interesting, not to mention meaningful, Bobby O puts the stipulation that this is now a Number One Contender's Match for the Golden Triangle Championship.
Zero, perhaps irate over O's interference into this tidy plan, took his frustrations out on Michaels. Deven seemed taken aback by the offense and took a significant beating for a few moments before launching into a little of his own defense.
The two went at it for a few moments until the veteran Michaels was able to utilize the short-armed clothesline. He followed that with the DDT and Zero was dispatched to the mat and the one, two, three.
Deven Michaels is the winner of the match and the new Number One Contender for the Golden Triangle Championship currently held by Justin Sane.
With the KSWA Krazies looking on, Deven threw Jezebel onto his fallen prey. Zero regained composure and was more than a little freaked out by the reptile.
Post Match: Fans went crazy as Michaels showed off his slithering friend. Zero made his way back to the locker room.

Captain's Series: Team Bobby O. v. Team Perri

After Team Perri was introduced, Ali Kaida demanded that the Krazies stand and bow before the Afghanistan flag and the playing of the Afghanistan National Anthem (of course, they refused).
Usually, Ali Kaida waves the flag, but instead the International Thugs forced Baracus to hold the flag. Baracus, who at one time was a proud member of the U.S. Armed Forces, has in recent years embraced the insurgent teachings of Gentleman Joe Perri, and has embarked on several top secret missions for the group. However on this day, Baracus looked a little conflicted as he held the Afghani Flag. A couple of times he allowed the flag to touch the mat, all to the derision of Perri and Kaida.
Big Mike Malachi, who along with Ali Kaida, were on Perri's team, stood at attention and looked down on anyone who didn't join in the pomp and circumstance.
The International Thugs, who some observers predicted would take the entire Captain's Series, then faced Team O, which comprised of Bobby O, Double-A Anthony Alexander and the former Drunken Luchadore Joseph Q.
All six men started the match with a hail of punches. Bobby O went after Gentleman Joe Perri, Ali Kaida went after Joseph Q. and Double-A traded blows with Big Mike Malachi.
Soon, O and Q were dispatched and the International Thugs double-teamed Double A. Ali Kaida then went after Alexander, but the former Golden Triangle Champion landed the big boot and the leg drop on the Afghani Assault Weapon.
Joseph Q was tagged in, but Ali Kaida, who has picked up his game expedentially in recent months, took control of the situation. With others distracting the referee, Ali blasted the Tijuana, Mexico native below the border then followed that up with a fall-away slam.
Big Mike Malachi antagonized Alexander from the outside as "IT" kept Joseph in the corner. Malachi was tagged in and he continued the mugging. Malachi utilized the belly-to-belly suplex on Q, and tossed him into his own corner.
In frustration after months of loss-fueled sobriety, Joseph grabbed a fan's alcoholic beverage and chugged it. Instantaneously, he was powered and energized. Quervo went on the attack, crushing both Malachi and Ali Kaida with impressive blows.
In the ensuing madness, Bobby O and Malachi were tagged in. Big Mike body slammed Bobby O, then tagged in Gentleman Joe. Perri rained a double-hammer on Bobby. Ali Kaida was then tagged in and applied the Camel Clutch. Double A and Malachi traded blows on the outside, Quervo and Perri went toe to toe.
Inside the ring it appeared as if Bobby O tapped out, but with the ref distracted by the other activity, any submission went unseen.
Suddenly, Baracus entered the ring and Ali Kaida stood Bobby O up, in anticipation of the spear. The fans were abuzz as Baracus would certainly take out Bobby then assist the referee back to the action.
Then Baracus brazenly speared Ali Kaida! The fans erupted as Baracus rolled the fallen Bobby O onto Ali and the referee hit the three count. Team O moved onto the finals.
Post Match: Team O raised Baracus' arm in victory, as the spell of them Mad Man of the Middle East was over. The International Thugs, now in disarray, angrily went back to the locker room.

King Del Douglas v. La Lucha

After Intermission, King Del Douglas hit the ring, chair in hand, demanding La Lucha appear from the locker room. Douglas wanted to ruin Sinco De Mayo for the Mayor of Mexico City.
A few minutes later, La Lucha appeared at the bar at the back of the Lawrenceville Moose, with a bucket full of free drinks. The KSWA Krazies went berserk.
Douglas went back to the bar and the two traded blows. Douglas led La Lucha back to the ring. Del took decisive control over La Lucha in the early going. The two went tooth-and-nail, back and forth for a few moments with each athlete nearly scoring a pin.
With Del down, La Lucha retrieved a Whopper that was provided by a fan. Del got to his feet, and with the absolute delight of the crowd, received it "His Way" in the face.
Both men delivered an array of offense, with near falls.
At the end of the match, La Lucha was able to land his signature Lacucaratcha for the win. Post Match: La Lucha celebrated his win and the liberation of Mexico with the Krazies.

Biker Al v. Mystery Opponent

Biker Al came to the ring with his hired henchman, the Blood Beast. Biker told Blood Beast that he "had this," and didn't need his assistance.
Trapper Tom could only announce "And his opponent," before unfamiliar ring music hit. The beautiful Sara Brooks suddenly hit the ring. New to the KSWA Krazies, Sara is a young former model now looking to manage in the organization.
Al thought that she was his opponent, so he eagerly threw himself onto the mat, hoping for a quick pin. Sara said she was not his opponent. She then introduced "Weighing in at 369 lbs., with 4-percent body fat, from Every Girl's Dream, Mr. Puniverse, Bob Atlas!"
The standing-room-only crowd went through the roof with excitement as Atlas exploded from the entrance tent. The masses only got more excited as he entered the ring after nearly a year away in early retirement.
Once the mat started, Biker Al took advantage of some ring rust and manhandled Atlas. Al worked on Atlas pretty well until Atlas was able to recover with offense of his own. Al nearly scored a quick pin, but the referee caught Al's feet on the ropes.
Al had more offense, including a cradle suplex. But instead of trying for the pin, Biker Al went to flirt with Sara. She slapped him in the face and Atlas successfully slapped on a sleeper hold for the win. With Biker Al out, Bob Atlas took off his ring tights to show off his familiar pink bicycle shorts, and straddled the sleeping Biker man.
Post Match: Mr. Puniverse and Sara Brooks celebrated with the crowd.

Grudge Match: Kris Kash v. Shane Starr

Shane Starr came to the ring with his new manager, Advisor Frank Durso. Kash was introduced and he uncharacteristically hit the ring full-force and took the offense right to his former tag team partner.
Kash nearly scored a quick pin fall, but Starr kicked out. After a few moments of Kris Kash offense, including a stellar flying leg scissors, Starr regrouped. Starr landed a perfect plex, which he calls "The Future Plex," but Kash was narrowly able to escape.
With both men down from exhaustion, Frank Durso climbed to the ring apron. He distracted the referee enough to allow The Enforcer Shawn Blanchard to sneak into the ring and attack Kash with a face-buster suplex. Starr rolled his former tag team partner up and scored the win. Post Match: Blanchard taunts the crowd, Kash stumbles back to the locker room.

Captain's Series Final: Team O v. Team Durso

With dried blood from Justin Sane still on his chin, Frank Durso led his team in against Team Bobby O, which now consisted of himself, Double-A and a completely pickled Drunken Luchadore Joey Quervo.
The finals were an elimination bout and not single elimination like the first round.
Quervo was in first and took some of Lou's offense. Lou could be heard saying, "Why would you let him in like this?" Martin nearly got a quick pin fall, but the rejuvenated Quervo kicked out at two.
Blanchard was tagged in and he went right after Quervo, with a series of chops. He followed that up with a spinebuster suplex. Blanchard tagged in Durso who went to work on Quervo. Joey was able to stay in the match, and actually got some offense against Dr. Devastation, who was tagged back in.
Double-A was tagged in and he went right after Blanchard. Alexander landed the big boot and leg drop, but had his eye poked when he went for the pin. Anthony regained momentum and chucked Blanchard with a fall away slam. Quervo was tagged in again. Lou was tagged in and he went after Quervo.
Durso used a sleeper hold on Quervo, then tagged in Martin. Lou used the Death Certificate on Quervo and got the pin.
Bobby O was sent in and was blasted by Blanchard. He followed that with a figure four leg lock. Durso used leverage to help Blanchard, but was caught by the ref. Blanchard was forced to let go of the hold. Bobby staggered back to his feet. Martin was tagged in and he quickly used the Death Certificate on Bobby for the pin.
Double-A Anthony Alexander was left alone against all three members of team Durso. Like a tornado, Alexander came in and dispatched of Durso and Martin. In a flash it was down to the Enforcer and Double-A. Double-A used the Prime Time Cancellation on Blanchard and scored the win.
The winners of the match and the Captain's Series: Double-A Anthony Alexander, Joey Quervo and Bobby O!
Post match: the winners celebrated with the crowd. The losing team went back to the locker room.
Next up at the Moose, "Heatwave Havoc" on June 16.


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