Leturgey Musings and Goings On

These are some of my writings...from events going on in the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance and elsewhere, to observations from the rest of my decidely unformulaic life.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

2012: Entering The Final Campaign

It seems like yesterday when we walked you for your first day of kindergarten. You were ready and willing to take on the challenge. We weren't, yet somehow we survived, largely by taking the day off and moping.
You charged through the door at the end of the day and your adventure began.
For the first several years you made immediate friends with the crossing guard, in fact, you became her right hand man. The devotion you had for each other was quick and sincere.
When she announced her retirement we were stunned and worried. At her retirement celebration at school, I wept while trying to read a proclamation I created from the community group I joined. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life but I did it with you in mind and heart.
It was there we first learned of your unique challenges as a second-generation ADHD'er. It was also there that you formed long-time friendships with every teacher you had. Despite the jumping up to watch fire trucks race down the thoroughfare, you somehow knew the answer for the question your teacher was asking.
Before we knew it your days as an elementary school student were over.
Riding the bus was a new journey as grade school was a mere two-block walk. This time you befriended the bus driver. That wasn't a surprise.
The classes were tougher, the challenges difficult. The small-school quaintness was gone, replaced by metal detectors and a more serious faculty. Some embraced your uniqueness, while for the first-time ever, others didn't. But somehow you survived.
The most life-altering changes in your life were to come that last year in middle school and after that you were uprooted to a high school full of strangers in an entirely different culture. Sometimes the personal struggles overshadowed the job-at-hand. It hasn't been an easy hoe in any way, shape or form.
Tomorrow you lace up the sneakers for the last, first day of school. Despite some of the biggest challenges of your life, you only missed two days of school last year (one so you could attend Wings Over Pittsburgh for your true love--the Civil Air Patrol), and one because no one else was going to school at the end of the year (against my better judgement, of course). The grades--they could and should be better--but you can blame the first-generation ADHD'er for that one.
Through it all, I'm proud of you and love you more today than yesterday. It won't be as much as tomorrow. I eagerly await--and dred--that final day of classes and what your future entails. It's not the way I wanted it to end for you, but we adapt to our circumstances.
You'll do fine. It's a remarkable day, an unbelievable time. Enjoy your senior year in high school, son. Embrace every day, each experience. It's a ride you will never want to forget.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Your Love Life Is On The Rocks: Don't Worry

Yikes and Yowza! In recent times, more friends than I'd care to admit have come to me, saying that their long-time relationships and/or marriages have completely unhinged. I've thought long and hard about this and decided that I'd toss down a few words (sometimes embarrassing) on the subject, seeing that my own long-term friendship/marriage crumbled after 20 years some four years ago. Plus, you might not hear from a dude on the subject all that often.
You see, while you certainly feel at a crossroads, things will improve.
Do Not Worry. I am not a biblical scholar. In fact, my Christian faith is in its infancy, but I often come back to the words in Matthew (this might be the most profound passage I've ever heard in any form): “Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’”
Will you have sleepless nights when your relationship comes to an end? Absolutely. Will you blame yourself and cause yourself undue stress? I'd bet on it. Are these feelings natural? Again, I would guess so. But these feelings will pass.
There's no need to worry.
Continue Working. Even when there are days when you feel worthless, perhaps even useless, chances are good you have work to do. You most likely have a day job. Go to work every day, especially if that's all you currently have "going on." And try to focus on that. Do the job well, the best of your abilities. I'm pleased to hear that employers and managers are reasonable and supportive in this regard when you are a productive employee to begin with. And in my own personal experience, they have been extremely supportive.
Do What You Enjoy. This is particularly true of your hobbies. If there's anything that makes you forget about your troubles--for me it has been writing, adventuring with my son and wrestling-related ventures--continue on with gusto. This allows you to keep your mind off of your troubles. And sometimes it just makes the day go faster, and at times nothing is more valuable. Get involved in your community, your church, clean up your street. Keep busy.
Cut Down On The Drinking/Smoking. This is where I may find some controversy. It's my experience that people cut down on their alcoholic beverages as they age. Being someone who never drank or smoked, I personally never had to curb that behavior. That being noted, slicing down those vices may contribute to better health and a sunnier outlook. I kissed a girl 25 years ago who smoked. I still remember it. Heck, if you want to stay a social drinker and smoker, don't change. It may not be wise to increase those activities once the dating scene resumes. (Editor's note: I digress if both of those things mean a lot to you.)
Check In On Your Friends. Your best friends will check in on you to see how you are, but don't forget to reach out to someone you may help. There's always someone in your personal universe who has a tougher time than you. I've found that reaching out to friends makes me feel better, as I'm sharing with others who may need a pick-me-up. The old adage is to check in on the elderly or infirmed. How about someone you suspect might need a friendly hello, regardless of their age?
Make New Friends. If you find yourself on the single's scene again after a long time away, don't fret. Yes, you may look at every member of the opposite gender as a dating possibility (I shudder when I reluctantly think of those days several years ago), but expect nothing but friendship and comradery. Make pals regardless of their sex. It's nice to get invites out-of-the-blue for get togethers from all over the place.
You'll Fall In Love Again. Let's suppose that your relationship/marriage has come to an end. It's an idea I for one don't easily condone, but it is what it is. People grow apart. Judging anyone over anything is unproductive. Someone once told me that they knew of people who were separated during the week, and were "hooking up" with someone new the first weekend. That's probably not the best thing to do. However, over time, and at exactly the correct time, it will happen.
Do Not Worry. It's that simple. Relax, don't freak out. It will be okay.
I'll throw out some other observations when they strike. Feel free to comment if you have something to add. I'm not an expert, just experienced.